Happy tenth birthday to this show! To celebrate, here's every randomly selected word from the dictionary from the first decade of the show.
Read moreTranquillusionist: Ex-Constellations
This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, give your brain a break by temporarily supplanting your interior monologue with words that don't make you feel feelings. Note: this is NOT a normal episode of the Allusionist, where you might learn something about language and your brain might be stimulated. The Tranquillusionist's purpose is to soothe your brain and for you to learn very little, except for something about Zeus's attitude to bad drivers.
Today: constellations that got demoted into ex-constellations. Featuring airborne pregnancy, cats of the skies, and one of the 18th century's most unpopular multi-hyphenates.
Read moreTranquillusionist: Person In Scene
This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, soothe your brain by saying a load of words that don’t really mean very much, to give you an emotional break by temporarily supplanting your interior monologue with something you can benignly ignore. This isn’t like the usual episodes of the Allusionist, there’ll be no learning, no journey, you don’t have to feel or think anything. And you’ll find previous editions of the Tranquillusionist at theallusionist.org/tranquillusionist, featuring champion dogs, gay animals, punchlines with no setups and more.
Today’s theme was requested by Lachlan, so long ago that Lachlan will have perhaps forgotten, but at some point in the past they wanted a Tranquillusionist featuring the characters from films that don't have names - so in the credits they’re listed as "man in shop", "lady with pram", "angry customer 2".
Read moreTranquillusionist: Gay Animals
This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a load of words which aren’t really about anything, so that your brain gets a little gentle diversion from thinking and/or feeling. Today: a list of gay animals.
Read moreTranquillusionist: Australia's Big Things
This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a load of deliberately boring words to distract your interior monologue from whatever dystopian stew it is in. Today: a list of the Big Things of Australia.
Read moreTranquillusionist: 282 Salads
This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, read all the salads from the 1950 recipe book 282 Ways of Making a Salad, with Favourite Recipes by British and American Personalities and Stars by Bebe Daniels and Jill Algood, with the purpose of giving your internal monologue a break by replacing it with some absolutely inconsequential words.
Read moreTranquillusionist: Home and Garden
This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, quell anxiety and calm brain frenzies by replacing your interior monologue with words detached from significance. In this case: the list of HGTV original programming, and lawnmower adverts from before I was born.
Read moreTranquillusionist: Punchlines
This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, in the interests of temporarily trying to stop that feeling where you think your brain is trying to claw its way out of your skull, read the punchlines to classic jokes.
Read moreTranquillusionist: Best In Show
This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, for the purposes of calming a frazzled brain, read the winners of Best In Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.
Read moreTranquillusionist: Nmiigea
This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, for the purposes of quelling anxiety and stress and sleeplessness, read the lyrics to ‘Imagine’ by John Lennon, with the words arranged in reverse alphabetical order.
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